Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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