Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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