I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you made out with another girl for some wings
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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