If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
