it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How does one acquire holy water?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i think im in europe. pls send help
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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