i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize