I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
