Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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