i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize