worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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