I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
