end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize