Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
