Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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