I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
