I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
