Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
