Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
