i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ugly people sure do ruin things
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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