So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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