sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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