38 yer olds are good kisserssss
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
