I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
