On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
50% drunk capacity currently
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
