I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
