I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
In America we eat man semen.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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