laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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