friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
