My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
