hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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