I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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