There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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