so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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