**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
