I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
