I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I want to be your penis for a week.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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