I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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