no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
