Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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