Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
