i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
