Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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