If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
White coat. Heels.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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