I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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