(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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