Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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