so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
