You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
