so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
