He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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