Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
