it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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