Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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