glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
