Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I will be naked everywhere
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
