The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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