Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
