Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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