she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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