Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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