I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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