we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This house was built for laser tag.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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