We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize