why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
